Foalstory (LJ import)

as odd as it sounds, i found some irony in the fact that it was 2 years to the day that you lost ally...and now i'm having to come to grips with losing satin...the reality hasn't set in yet cause i didn't actually see his body. so it's almost like he's on vacation somewhere and he'll be back. except he won't be. i saw the hole he is buried in. but the not seeing him...almost denial i suppose is what's helping me to actually talk about it. but i still know he's gone. and now i'm going back and forth between uncontrollable crying, absolute numbness, and so much anger i want to throw anything into the wall and just watch it shatter. i suppose that's normal...